Episode 8: Portrait of a Lady on Fire (2019)
How does passionate love feel? What does it mean to pay attention to each other? Are there distinctive characteristics in the emergence of same-sex attraction? Paul and Eli consider these questions, and more, in their analysis of Portrait of a Lady on Fire, the gorgeous period drama depicting forbidden love in late-eighteenth-century France.
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Hosted, produced, and edited by Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel.
Intro
1:20: (Eli) Who are the characters and couples?
3:05: (Paul) 1-minute plot recap
4:20: What is our relationship to this movie?
Couple identity study by Dr. Emery
What the movie gets right
7:20: (Eli) The nature of romantic love
Defining and measuring passionate love study by Dr. Hatfield
9:40: (Paul) The development of same-sex attraction
Passionate love and sexual attraction in same-sex relationships review by Dr. Diamond
13:10: (Eli) The importance of focused attention
Responsiveness and focused attention review by Dr. Reis
Eye contact in flirtation study by Dr. Moore
Prolonged eye contact and intimacy study by Dr. Aron
The original draft with the eye contact question (#34) by Dr. Melinat
20:55: (Eli) Self-expansion and “inclusion of the other in the self”
Falling in love is linked to self-expansion study by Dr. Aron
Blurred identity boundaries between self and partner study by Dr. Aron
Misconceptions in the movie
24:55: (Paul) Relationships almost never become so passionate this quickly
Relationship trajectories study by Paul
26:40: (Eli) It’s rare to have so much emotional mastery and bravery
Self-protection vs. relationship-enhancement review by Dr. Murray
“Are we ok with this?”
29:15: (Eli) Under what circumstances is it acceptable for a married person to sustain a passionate connection for a former lover?
32:50: (Eli) If one lives under oppressive conditions, what sorts of ethical compromises are acceptable in the pursuit of happiness?
Relationship Quotes!
36:20: (Paul) Couples feel like they’re inventing something
37:40: (Eli) Are relationship experiences evanescent vs. permanent?
What do we wish we knew?
39:40: (Paul) How can people break up in healthy ways?
42:30: (Eli) The experience vs. the memory of love
45:30: (Eli) The anticipation vs. consummation of passionate love
Sexual afterglow study by Dr. Meltzer
“The Coolidge Effect” review by Dr. Dewsbury
Stars (1–5): Both hosts rate the quality of the movie
Rusbults (1–5): Both hosts rate the accuracy of the movie’s ideas about relationships
Music by Andrew Fraker and Sons
Artwork by Katie Keil