Episode 5: Before Sunrise (1995)

How quickly do attachment bonds start to form? What are the relationship consequences of believing that men and women are fundamentally different? How does self-disclosure cultivate feelings of intimacy? Richard Linklater’s Before Sunrise takes Paul and Eli on a nostalgic joyride through these and other topics.

Subscribe at Apple, Spotify. or Episodes.fm

Hosted, produced, and edited by Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel.

---

Intro

1:45: (Eli) Who are the characters and couples?

3:00: (Paul) 1-minute plot recap

4:05: What is our relationship to this movie?

What the movie gets right

6:15: (Eli) The false dichotomy in relationship science between “initial attraction” and “established relationships”

• Attachments form quickly study by Paul and Eli

• Couples are primarily attached to each other study by Dr. Heffernan

11:00: (Paul) The power of reciprocal self-disclosure

• The famous “36-questions study” by Dr. Aron (see also here)

• The self-disclosure turn-taking study by Dr. Sprecher

14:35: (Eli) The association of trait neuroticism with relationship difficulties

• The neuroticism and divorce study by Dr. Kelly

• Neuroticism and satisfaction review by Dr. Esplin

18:20: (Eli) The importance of being responsive when our partner makes a bid for emotional connection

• The turning-toward-bids study by Dr. Gottman

20:25: (Paul) Even in attraction settings, people sometimes seek attachment more than sexual connection

• Bonding and sex are independent review by Dr. Diamond

Misconceptions in the movie

22:15: (Paul) Almost no romantic relationships begin this soon after people first meet

• Relationship trajectories study by Paul

23:20: (Paul) Holding essentialized beliefs about gender bode poorly for relationship well-being

• The gender-essentialism study by Dr. Eidelson

• Sexual double standards negatively predict satisfaction study by Dr. Bereket

“Are we ok with this?”

26:25: (Eli) What are the relationship consequences of adhering to the view that “the personal is the political”?

Relationship Quotes!

30:15: (Eli) Kath Bloom sings The Truth while Céline and Jesse are in a record store listening booth

31:20: (Paul) Céline and Jesse panic when they realize they might actually be saying goodbye forever

33:20: (Paul) Céline talks about how everyday mundanities form the foundation of love

What do we wish we knew?

35:20: (Eli) When is it important to resolve relationship conflict vs. letting it go?

37:30: (Paul) What are the functions of sex in short-term mating contexts?

• Humans have “re-mating” preferences book by Dr. Prum

40:00: (Eli) When people are getting to know each other, are their non-obvious verbal devices that they use to transition into topics that are threateningly intimate?

43:15: (Eli) What is the optimal amount of honesty in a romantic relationship?

Stars (1–5): Both hosts rate the quality of the movie

Rusbults (1–5): Both hosts rate the accuracy of the movie’s ideas about relationships

---

Music by Andrew Fraker and Sons

Artwork by Katie Keil