Episode 44: Fatal Attraction (1987) with Paige Harden
When do we want to see people punished? How do people feel about their own wrongdoing? What does stalking actually look like? In pursuit of answers, Paul and Eli invite clinical psychologist and behavioral geneticist Paige Harden to revisit Fatal Attraction with them, garnering disturbing insights at the intersection of love and violence.
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Hosted, produced, and edited by Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel
Intro
1:35: (Eli) Who are the characters and couples?
2:35: (Paul) 1-minute plot recap
3:50: What is our relationship to this movie?
What the movie gets right
7:15: (Eli) People who commit moral transgressions frequently believe they’re doing so from a place of virtue
Virtuous Violence book by Dr. Rai
Evil book by Dr. Baumeister
Cognitive dissonance reduction among perpetrators of infidelity study by Dr. Alexopoulos
10:35: (Paul) We see some excellent portrayals of flirting
Playing (selectively!) hard to get study by Dr. Walster
Selective versus unselective romantic desire study by Paul
Using humor signals interest in the partner study by Dr. Li
12:50: (Eli) Feeling guilty make us want to “make it up to” our partner
The social psychology of guilt review by Dr. Baumeister
15:00: (Paul) Most stalking behavior happens between people who know each other
The progression of stalking study by Dr. Mumm
Misconceptions in the movie
17:15: (Paul) It’s extremely rare for stalking to involve behaviors this extreme
Prevalence of obsessive relational intrusion behaviors review by Dr. Spitzberg
19:15: (Eli) External events can harm a relationship—even if both people try hard
External stress and marital quality study by Dr. Neff
21:30: (Paul) Dan shows essentially none of the risk factors for infidelity—but he commits it anyway
Narcissism and infidelity study by Dr. McNulty
Infidelity and dating relationships study by Dr. Varma
Men are a little bit more likely to cheat than women are meta-analysis by Dr. Petersen
Cuckolded fathers are rare (~1%) in human populations study by Dr. Maarten
26:10: (Paul) Committed people derogate romantic alternatives before the threat gets strong
Resisting temptation study by Dr. Johnson
Inattentive and contented study by Dr. Miller
28:00: (Eli) People tend not to cover this quickly from infidelity
Couple healing from infidelity study by Dr. Fife
Getting Past the Affair book by Dr. Snyder
29:25: (Paul) The film conflates two different forms of intimate partner violence
Two forms of intimate partner violence review by Dr. Johnson
“Are we ok with this?”
31:50: (Eli) This film is egregiously antifeminist
Expert Corner with Paige Harden
34:25: (Paige) People judge others’ behavior more harshly when the primary causes of the behavior derive from the person rather than the situation
Original Sin book by Paige
41:10: (Paige) Alex seems to have (extreme) borderline personality disorder, and her behavior at the end is the impulsive aggression that sometimes accompanies it
49:00: (Paige) A lust for cruelty exists as part of human nature
51:30: (Eli) The movie took an interesting character study of a person unraveling psychologically and warped it into a simple fable about evil
Relationship Quotes!
52:40: (Paul) When we get enraged or threatened, our attempts at kindness can sour into cruelty
What do we wish we knew?
53:55: (Eli) Under what circumstances do we tell others they have food on their face—and when is doing so appreciated?
54:45: (Paul) Is self-effacing humor effective?
55:50: (Eli) How do people decide whether or how to tell their partner they’ve had an affair?
Stars (1–5): The hosts rate the quality of the movie
Rusbults (1–5): The hosts rate the accuracy of the movie’s ideas about relationships
Music by Andrew Fraker and Sons
Artwork by Katie Keil