What assumptions lurk behind the man-approaches-woman default? Why is double-dating a good idea? Does the military take grief seriously? Paul and Eli invite the former naval aviator Matt Rhodes to discuss Top Gun, the 1986 blockbuster featuring Tom Cruise, Kelly McGillis, and a sex scene unlike anything you’ve ever witnessed in a PG movie.
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Hosted, produced, and edited by Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel
Intro
1:15: (Eli) Who are the characters and couples?
2:50: (Paul) 1-minute plot recap
4:00: What is our relationship to this movie?
What the movie gets right
9:05: (Matt) Goose is exactly the sort of person you want in the military
Agreeable people promote team performance by cultivating cohesion study by Dr. Bradley
10:35: (Eli) The Goose and Carole relationship is a fantastic model
Behaving positively in response to negativity is beneficial review by Dr. Gottman
Going on double dates increases passion study by Dr. Welker
Playfulness is linked to sexuality study by Dr. Brauer
Public displays of affection predict relationship satisfaction study by Dr. Kocur
13:00: (Matt) Family reunions after prolonged deployments are euphoric
See the end of this post for a photo of Matt’s post-deployment reunion with his 7-month-pregnant wife
14:30: (Paul) Social support needs to be tailored to the needs of the support recipient
17:25: (Matt) It’s not uncommon for people in the military to date other members of the military
18:15: (Paul) Arrogance isn’t a turnoff when first meeting a potential romantic partner
Confidence and assertiveness are desirable, and (to Paul’s surprise) arrogance is not undesirable
Misconceptions in the movie
18:45: (Matt) The military takes grief seriously
The navy would never have forced Maverick back into the air so soon after Goose’s death
21:30: (Eli) Prolonged military deployments are hard on couples
Such deployments are linked to elevated rates of divorce study by Dr. Massoglia
Such deployments are linked to lower marital satisfaction study by Dr. Karney
The military offers family and marital trainings to its personnel as they return from extended deployments
25:10: (Paul) No, “man pursues woman” is not “the natural order of things”
Women do not diminish their long-term value by appearing eager book (available for preorder!) by Paul
27:55: (Matt) “If you take a random sampling of 15 naval aviators, make them play volleyball—you’re not going to want to see these guys with their shirts off.”
“Are we ok with this?”
29:20: (Eli) Credit to Top Gun for Maverick’s sexual reticence.
30:15: (Eli) The film does Charlie wrong by putting her in a position to be shown up by her students.
31:30: (Paul) Is Charlie just giving up her high-powered career for Maverick?
32:35: (Matt) The movie makes Charlie look awful.
Relationship Quotes!
33:30: (Paul) Does surprise add to the appeal of discovering someone is into you?
35:30: (Eli) The dude dynamic between Maverick and Goose is pretty great.
36:30: (Matt) Arrogance as a double-edged sword.
What do we wish we knew?
37:30: (Paul) What are the consequences when an observer offers commentary on our relationship?
39:00: (Eli) When and to whom do we keep vs. divulge secrets?
40:05: (Matt) What’s going to happen in the relationship between Maverick and Iceman?
41:25: (Eli) How do two people co-grieve when they’d had a different relationship with the deceased?
Stars (1–5): Matt, Paul, and Eli rate the quality of the movie
Rusbults (1–5): Matt, Paul, and Eli rate the accuracy of the movie’s ideas about relationships
Music by Andrew Fraker and Sons
Artwork by Katie Keil