Episode 26: Materialists (2025)
What happens when we treat dating like a business proposition? How important is height in determining a man’s desirability? If love isn’t “the math,” then what is it? Paul and Eli race from Celine Song’s Materialists to the recording booth, hoping to make sense of the modern dating landscape.
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Hosted, produced, and edited by Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel
Intro
1:15: (Eli) Who are the characters and couples?
2:20: (Paul) 1-minute plot recap
3:30: What is our relationship to this movie?
What the movie gets right
6:30: (Paul) Relationship success isn’t about math
Compatibility cannot be predicted from two people’s attributes study by Dr. Joel
Matching on similarity/preferences poorly predicts outcomes review by Paul
10:05: (Paul) It’s corrosive to view a relationship as two economic agents seeking the best deal
Strong marriages aren’t about economic exchange study by Dr. Clark
Marriage can have an economic-exchange component, but it’s much more than that book by Dr. Coontz
17:15: (Eli) Relationships benefit when the partners make an effort
Relationship-maintenance strategies predict relationship quality meta-analysis by Dr. Ogolsky
Commitment motivates relationship maintenance review by Dr. Rusbult
Opening up fosters a partner’s emotional investment study by Dr. Wieselquist
22:05: (Paul) Socioeconomic stress is linked to relationship difficulties
People with lower SES divorce at higher rates study by Dr. Martin
They also experience greater relationship distress study by Dr. Amato
Stress creates relationship problems and hinders constructive responding to such problems review by Dr. Neff
Misconceptions in the movie
25:40: (Eli) The alternative to “the math” is relationship science, not magic
29:05: (Eli) It’s risky to make promises about our future feelings
People are surprisingly bad at predicting how they will feel review by Dr. Wilson
31:00: (Paul) Height poorly predicts men’s romantic desirability
Women’s romantic preference for tall men is a small effect—and no larger than men’s preference for tall women study by Dr. Sidari
“Are we ok with this?”
35:25: (Eli) THIS is what an ideal Grand Romantic Gesture looks like.
36:20: (Paul) Will the materialist trappings of this movie outlast Celine Song’s attempt to critique them?
38:35: (Eli) Is it okay when rom-coms embed harrowing social issues as a plot device?
40:10: (Eli) If somebody is more into us than vice versa, how much are we responsible for making sure we don’t accidentally lead them on?
Relationship Quotes!
41:35: (Paul) The age of swiping has caused us to lose sight of what actually matters in dating.
43:05: (Eli) When dating is math, “settling” is devastating.
What do we wish we knew?
45:00: (Eli) What makes people think that they (or others) are “capable of love”?
46:15: (Paul) How do our standards (for relationships, for living situations, etc.) change over time?
Stars (1–5): The hosts rate the quality of the movie
Rusbults (1–5): The hosts rate the accuracy of the movie’s ideas about relationships
Music by Andrew Fraker and Sons
Artwork by Katie Keil
Loved the episode! I'm only commenting because I feel like both hosts missed the point about introducing a "harrowing social issue" into this movie. Right after Lucy learns her client was sexually assaulted, she has a key conversation in a bar with John that explains why this subplot was introduced. John doesn't know why Lucy is upset, and proceeds to make light of Lucy's job by implying that the job (and therefore dating) isn't a serious matter. Lucy rebuffs him by making the same point that Jane Austen continually made in her books: men have the luxury of being carefree romantics, but dating is actually extremely fraught and dangerous for women. The rom-com genre is light-hearted and fun, which masks the reality that dating is actually very serious for women in a way it isn't for men, generally speaking. While Lucy is deciding between money and love, the writer is showing us that there are more than two options. Anyway, love the podcast and can't wait for more!