Episode 12: Bridget Jones's Diary (2001)
What are the joys and miseries of singlehood? Is “playing hard to get” an effective dating strategy? Why does it feel so good to be adored “just as we are”? Paul and Eli revisit “Bridget Jones’s Diary,” the 2001 rom-com starring Renee Zellweger, Hugh Grant, and Colin Firth—which Vanity Fair recently ranked as the fourth best romantic comedy of all time.
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Hosted, produced, and edited by Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel
Intro
1:05: (Eli) Who are the characters and couples?
2:15: (Paul) 1-minute plot recap
3:25: What is our relationship to this movie?
What the movie gets right
6:40: (Eli) Close relationship partners can cultivate each other’s self-acceptance
The Michelangelo effect review by Dr. Rusbult
9:30: (Paul) In some circumstances, we want our partner to see us as we see ourselves
Self-verification theory review by Dr. Swann
Global adoration, specific accuracy study by Dr. Neff
Feeling understood buffers us against the adverse effects of conflict study by Dr. Gordon
14:00: (Paul) We tend to like people more as we encounter them more times
Familiarity breeds attraction study by Dr. Reis
16:30: (Paul) Certain aspects of singlehood are fraught
Lifelong singles have lower life satisfaction than ever-partnered individuals study by Dr. Stern
“Satisfaction with singlehood” is key study by Dr. Hoan
The circumstances under which singles cope vs. thrive review by Dr. Girme
Singles confront a form of discrimination known as “singlism” review by Dr. DePaulo
19:35: (Eli) When we like our partner, we see the best in them
Seeing virtues in faults study by Dr. Murray
Misconceptions in the movie
21:50: (Paul) It’s a myth that some men and “dads” and others are “cads”
Nice guys (and girls) finish first study by Dr. Wu
25:50: (Eli) It’s a myth that “playing hard to get” is an effective dating strategy
Being selectively hard to get study by Dr. Hatfield (Walster)
Selective attraction is appealing, indiscriminate attraction is not study by Paul
“Are we ok with this?”
30:00: (Paul and Eli) Certain jokes have aged badly (e.g., casual racism, anti-gay slurs), and the depiction of sexual harassment highlights important differences between then and now.
Relationship Quotes!
35:30: (Paul) It feels great to be adored “just as we are”
37:00: (Eli) When we feel confident, we like dressing sexily
What do we wish we knew?
37:30: (Eli) When is sexual banter fun vs. gross?
39:45: (Paul) After long-term partners split, when and how do they get back together?
41:10: (Eli) Under what circumstances are people inclined to try to bring out the best in their partner?
Some people’s personalities are better suited to the role of relationship “sculptor” study by Dr. Kumashiro
42:35: (Paul) What behaviors from one’s social network makes singles feel good vs. bad about being single?
Stars (1–5): Both hosts rate the quality of the movie
Rusbults (1–5): Both hosts rate the accuracy of the movie’s ideas about relationships
Music by Andrew Fraker and Sons
Artwork by Katie Keil